Friday, February 3, 2012

Continued!

  I have continued my reading with The Five Love Languages of Children, and I feel like this book wants to just jump off my computer and hit me in the head! How many things am I going to read in here and say to myself  "oh my gosh, I so do that".  I feel like it is actually taking me a while to read this because I keep going back over pages and really understanding what is being said. When I read a page the second time its like watching a movie for a second time.  You always catch more and see things you didn't see the first time.

    After the long introduction into the book the first Love Language discussed is "Physical Touch".. Now if you are really close with me you know that I am a touchy feely person.  I love hugs! But I was so suprised when reading this how much affection I turn down towards my girls.  Here is a small insert of what was said:

Marilyn didn’t learn about the five love languages until her son
Joey was twelve years old. At the end of a love languages seminar,

 she turned to a friend and said, “Now I finally understand Joey. For years
he has annoyed me by constantly picking at me.

When I’m washing dishes, he walks up behind me, puts his
 hands around my face and covers my eyes. If I walk past him,
he reaches out and pinches my arm.
If I walk through the room when he is lying on the floor,

 he grabs my leg. Sometimes he pulls my arms behind me.
He used to run his hands through my hair when I
 was sitting on the couch, although he doesn’t anymore since
 I told him to keep hishands out of my hair.
 He does the same thing to his father,
 and the two of them usually end up in a
wrestling match on the floor
.

I read this part and felt like it was me talking... Now I love giving my girls hugs and picking them up every now and then to carry them to bed or get them out of bed.. but I can't tell you how often they jump in my lap the second I sit on the couch, or jump in my lap at the kitchen table, grab my ankles when I'm walking so I'll drag them across the floor, or just come stand next to me while I am getting ready..  And what do I say to them "Get down, you don't have to sit on me at all times, let go of my leg before you make me fall, or do you really have to touch me 24/7!  Now of course everyone needs their personally space.. but is this a personal space thing to me or is this just me being exhausted from the day and I feel pulled in so many directions, therefore I'm taking out my frustrations on two girls that just want some of my attentions.  Now I am realizing that Haley is way more needy when it comes to Physical Touch than Jordan is.  So this might be Haley's love language, but I won't really know till I have read all of this book.  And of course I'm thinking I do not "fill" Haley's love tank with physical touch, therefore if its not full she will not be as resecptive as she should with discipline! (I'll hit on that more later on)  

The next Chapter is "Words of Affirmation" (my love language).  Already only 2 pages into this chapter I realize this just might be Jordan! For Example this morning I asked the girls to grab their trays so that I could get them their breakfast (morning routine, watch cartoons while eating breakfast on tv trays)  Anyhow I look up and saw that Jordan got up and got both trays and put Haleys down for her then set down at her tray.  I said to her "Thank you Jordan for helping sissy, that was very kind!"  She smiled so big and said "its kind to help others, right Mommy!?"   She reacted in such a positive way because I showed her praise!  

I so should have starting reading this book years ago! I do I realize that has you grow your personality will grow also, but I truely believe that your love language is decided at a very young age and I am learning now as I read how important it is to fill the love tank of a child as soon as you realize their love language.....

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